lmaonade:

me: *walking*

my cat: i am going to run in front of you. i am going to sprint in front of you so fast mid step and you are going to punt me into the sun

me: okay sir yes sir 

earthdad:

worm 1: my oh my this tastes like dirt

worm 2: it is(:

worm 1: (:

pcklesthings:

gardenoffish:

pcklesthings:

gardenoffish:

Do I date tall people???? Just so they can always see me from my best angle?????? Or is that just a bonus for them?????

idk. how tall are you? cause that’ll tell you why you date tall people

I’m 5’2

you date tall people cause everyone is taller than you

snakegay:

mike’s hard chamomile tea

reallyreallyreallytrying:

[me drawing 7s with a little line through them to impress girls in the library]: hmm. what? yes, i always draw 7s like this. it’s normal for me.

ghost-egggs:

vajussy:

lewistanshatterstar:

pikachu being a cop means he’s not allowed at pride

Pikachu is a private investigator not a cop and thus allowed at pride and also was there when Marsha P Johnson threw the first brick at Stonewall so don’t you ever disrespect him for a Tumblr post again