glumshoe:

emptyart:

glumshoe:

prismatic-bell:

glumshoe:

thestuffedalligator:

glumshoe:

Guys I watched the Disney Pinocchio movie from 1940 last night for the first time since I was probably 6 or 7 and……. I mean. There’s a lot I could say, but what I really want to get off my chest is–

why was Jiminy Cricket SO HORNY all the time?!?!?

Why is that what you specifically notice in this fucking movie

There’s a whole subplot about children being turned into donkeys for a salt mine and they’re never seen again

Let the cricket be horny. He dies in the book so this is the only chance he’s got

I read the book! I remember it better than the cartoon. The donkeys were nothing new to me, but “Jiminy Cricket: thot for humans” was a subplot I Definitely Did Not Remember. 

Wait he DIES?????

Yeah – Pinocchio murders him with a hammer in a fit of rage.

Yeah, it’s like in the first chapter too. It’s like “hey ur being unreasonable” SMASH

Also, Pinocchio doesn’t come to life through magic, he’s just a mean-spirited piece of wood that instantly kicks the shit out of his dad the moment he has feet. He is a little bastard boy who loves sin so it kind of makes sense that he has to earn the right to be human, because no one wants to unleash a flesh and blood attack boy on the world.