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A text I never expected to receive from my mother

suplx:

luzonbleedingheart:

ninthgoblinchild:

luzonbleedingheart:

smh at jason todd’s grudge against batman always being portrayed as being morally gray or just some edgy teenage angst like no if my adoptive father let me get killed by some clown and i came back and found out that that clown wasn’t now a funny ass corpse? ohhhh girl.

jason was put through literal hell bc of batman and that nigga would be fighting the joker and say sum shit like “i don’t want to kill you, i don’t have a reason” and jason’s just standing behind him like

jason when batman starts monologuing about his fuck ass “no guns” policy

jason when he hear bout batman putting purse snatchers in hospitals with broken spines but takes joker for a cruise round the city in his tricked out bentley and havin hour long deep ass conversations bout being “two sides of the same coin”

Jason when he pretends to be dead to see if Batman ever kills the joker to avenge him, but he never does. instead Batman just gets another Robin to fight the joker alongside him until retirement

despazito:

despazito:

every redpill dudebro who thinks life was better and more “traditional” in the 50s needs to be sentenced to eat 50s food for the rest of their lives

they want a happy housewife but what will happen when she serves them this

honoredmatre:

this is like how a dream feels

star-eaters:

Do you ever wanna bond with someone so bad you’re like “damn i wish we were knights on a dangerous quest”

admhawthorne:

iamrushin:

boomerbuzzard:

notchicken:

I hate the internet. I hate how this poem doesn’t need to be finished but it has 13.9k retweets and 21.1k likes. Everyone knows how this poem ends and I hate it

Violets are Blue

Michael Jackson sang Thriller

lmao omg

Ha ha… I hate this site

phucklactery:

bowtochris:

chromalogue:

runtime-err0r:

itsvondell:

you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink

Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.

My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”

I’m rather fond of “It’s not rocket surgery” and “not the sharpest egg in the attic,” but my all-time favourite is, “…until the cows freeze over.”

You’ve opened this can of worms, now lie in it,

Does the pope shit in the woods?

interstellarvagabond:

jomjjeoro:

hey guys. this is my invention. check it out

listen no matter how depressed I am whenever this post shows up on my dash I fucking lose it I just laugh so hard, it’s such a good post. The way it’s presented? Soap on a sink nozzle, okay clearly this is some sort of handwashing appliance. Then there’s just water going everywhere no further explanation it’s so good I’m so happy