i was at the doctors today and there was a guy sitting behind me with his baby, and the baby starts crying in its pram and the guy just stands up, faces the kid and says “Come on now, don’t cry, you’re better than that”
also, someone else asked him how old his baby was and he said without even a moments hesitation, “he’s 36 he’s just got a height problem” and I’ve only just come to terms with the fact I’ll never say something that funny in my life
It high-key sounds like you stumbled in halfway through a comedy about a dude who’s friend got magicked into a baby
do you ever want to stockpile your own blood over the course of a few years and then just go around and start spreading it everywhere before mysteriously disappearing, leaving suspicious amounts of blood throughout the city and turning your whole town into a crime scene which no one can adequately explain outside of somehow being murdered simultaneously at like eight taco bells?
