internet-slavery:

shedisenchants:

shedisenchants:

so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night

you guys think I’m joking??

he looks like colonel sanders

galvanists:

galvanists:

lol robots don’t need titties!!

this is the only possible valid response

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

theropodtheroblogs:

scotchjolras:

The bees and wasps now recognise me as the person who gives them water. Which sounds cool but it means everytime I go outside they harass me until I fill up the waterer. On the bright side, I no longer have to fear wasps as they just buzz around me non-threateningly now.

You are their water deity now

“THE WATER BRINGER HAS ARRIVED”

“ALL HAIL!

ALL HAIL!”

garageband-bitch:

katesofheaven:

garageband-bitch:

the past tense of blink should be blunk discuss

no

think➡️thought

blink➡️blought

holy fucking shit you’re on a galaxy brain level of thinking and i respect you

theglowpt2:

i love the social network but if mark zuckerberg was real that’d be so fucked up

adriansydney:

when you look up at the sky and see the brightest star it’s carrie fisher shining her light on you 

karshmallow:

stuffnuts:

karshmallow:

you know whats a good trope? when a character sarcastically says “what should we do? [proposes outlandish and foolish plan]” and the next scene is them mid-execution of said outlandish and foolish plan

this is exactly the scene i was thinking of when i wrote this post thank you very much

ruinedchildhood:

anti-capitalistlesbianwitch:

As long as accused sexual assaulters can be elected President and nominated to the Supreme Court, y’all can shut the fuck up about false accusations ruining men’s lives.