Category: Uncategorized

king:

littlemissmoriarty:

king:

thatpersonwhosweird:

king:

buggerygrips:

king:

littlemissmoriarty:

king:

@ all u british bastards imma bout to eat biscuits n tea but am i supposed to put the butter on the biscuit and dip it in the tea or do i dip the biscuit in the tea first and then butter it or am i supposed to take a bite out of the butter and the biscuit and sip the tea or am i supposed to 

Who the fuck puts butter on a biscuit mate. I think you’ve got a translation error

so mr england sir i should butter up the tea or

the butter goes on the Weetabix.

im shaking what are you saying to me

It could also go on crumpets

now yall just making up words

The butter could also go on the teacakes and scones as well if you want, or pork scratchings ya know, mix it around

please dont hurt me ill do anything

43ketchup:

not being really overweight but not being thin is a weird place because you never look quite as good as your friends and you’re in that spot that everyone tells you “you’re not fat!” but doesn’t want to say you’re thin and no matter if your weight shifts you always sort of look the same to yourself and in some situations you can hide your appearance but in others its alarmingly obvious, and buying clothes is like a luck of the draw as to if you’ll look thin or huge because it feels like there isn’t an in between 

laysiaprincess:

mintzy:

dalishpariah:

we opened at 11 this morning. i watched an old man literally pry the fucking sliding doors open at 10:43 and stand there just staring into the empty store and my coworker & i were like sir. for the love of fuck

I worked in a restaurant for while and a woman climbed past an A board sign, ignored the sign on a the door saying the opening times and trotted on in.
When told we were not open she asked why the door was unlocked. My manager explained that it has to be unlocked when people are in the building to comply with fire regulations. Which lead to my favourite exchange with a customer:
Woman: But there are no people in here.
Manager: Madam. The staff count as people.
Woman: That’s ridiculous. *Storms out*

“The staff count as people” has me dead

bigmeansweatydyke:

ruskiizek:

skeleton-jack:

jeremyvyoral72:

ruskiizek:

In Russia a man named Ivan smashed his way through icy water to save a stray dog from drowning, he adopted the dog afterwards and named him Rex.

Hero

God, look at him go. Even money this man was part of some Soviet super soldier program back in the day.

Ivan is only 21 years old here’s photos of them afterwards

when ppl say not all men they’re talking ab Ivan