Your church-going, God-worshipping sister adopted a small child and you’re excited to see them. But when you do, the child is a menace. They’re throwing things everywhere, setting furniture on fire with seemingly nothing, chanting in Latin to summon demons, but the weirdest thing is that your sister doesn’t seem to mind.
“You literally adopted the antichrist, Anne. What the fuck.”
“Yeah, I knew when I saw him at the orphanage. I figured if the kid had some decent fucking parenting that we could avoid the whole ‘Revelations’ shite. Nasty business, that.”
George, who’s name has been kindly changed from Damien, approaches his new mother with a huge spider in his hands. It promptly bursts into flames.
“Good job, love. Now go find the rest.” George’s face makes no expression, but his eyes shine when he recieves a pat on the head for his efforts.
As the months go by, George seems to settle down. He adjusts to school, friends, and the positive reinforcement Anne gives him. She encourages the good he does, even though the powers he uses aren’t “good”. When she gets calls from the school, it’s about a rambunctious boy that won’t sit still. Not a destroyer of the world and innocence.
It’s at Christmas dinner, that you let slip your amazement to your mother. How good Anne is for him and how he’s improved a lot. Still summoning hellhounds for games of fetch, though.
“Oh, he’ll forget how to do that when he falls in love the first time,” Your mother laughs, smiling wide.
serebii.net is wild. it’s a relic. this dude has been running a pokemon news website continuously for damn near 20 years. who is he. how does he do it. what is his secret. how did he get so powerful. he terrifies me
reblogging this again because i found out today he started serebii when he was 13. imagine making a website dedicated to a game at 13 years old and it exploding enough to become the entire fandom’s main source of information
guys i’m sorry but we’re getting close to the 2-year anniversary of when “spider-man: homecoming” filmed outside my apartment and i had to explain to security ppl that i lived across the street and t*m h*lland was so sweet and said hi and apologized for the traffic delays and told me to get home safe despite me pointing to my building 15 feet away and he was like “yes but you have to cross the street! be well!” and waved to me as i went inside oh my god am i gonna cry again
The only thing I cared about in that whole entire song is flipping the orange off my elbow. – Lily James Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018) dir. Ol Parker
can you believe female hysteria was considered like an actual medical thing… god
mary louise moneybags in 1880: im horny all the time and also sad and i feel dissatisfied with my shitty life i dont want kids i hate my dad and my husband
dr mis o’geny: i diagnose you with WOMAN
fun fact if you’re a man you’re not allowed to laugh at this joke bcus i don’t go a day without hearing about how girls are all overemotional unstable and crazy so you all still think like this you’ve just gotten better at phrasing it in a way that doesnt seem like bullshit at first glance
teach a man to fish and he’ll forget who you are and then he’ll see you in a bar a month later and he’ll try to seduce you by telling you things he assumes you don’t know about fishing
oh my gd
Please check out the tags from the person I reblogged this from, omw
