it’s like fun for me to have my like BEST friend like be like, “omg like
you got bangs like no big deal.” like obviously it’s like a big deal…honestly for me i don’t know what you’re talking abou- LOVE your jar
It’s a mason….
but like, why would you show up to work wearing salmon when you knew
that like honestly one of the other executives was wearing salmon?i wore salmon all on my own okay? and im swimming up stream, and instead of seeing another salmon im seeing BEAR!
really? cuz im seeing a whale!
Author: joyem9
Music box puts kitten to sleep. (via osirisosito)
me reading fic: *sobbing* how could you DO that to them??!?!?!
me writing fic:
“Hello? Yes, this whale looks very suspicious. I think he may be trying to get inside a part of the sea that’s not his. Just come quickly.”
So now white people are calling the cops on whales, SMH.
this is the most annoying family ive ever heard
I fully expected it to be a white woman on the phone before I unmuted this.
Dirty talk but you both use your customer service voice
Thanks I hate it
partner: *cums*
me: great! will you be needing anything else today?
Customer service but you use your dirty talk voice
You’re a nasty little bitch aren’t you? Trying to return these shoes after 30 days.
[She can fly?] She’s just hovering. It’s not that impressive.
Jennifer’s Body (2009) | dir. Karyn Kusama
Gina: Rosa put salt in my coffee because i annoyed her but i’m going to continue to drink it because i’m petty and wont let her win
You’re lying on the sofa under a blanket, lights dimmed, watching your favourite TV show. Your cat is laid across you, sleeping but purring quietly. All is calm. All is good.
but then out of the corner of your eye you spot him
shia labeouf
