miss job hunting back in the day when you could just ride into town on a horse and be like “i’m a doctor” and everybody was like “cool no need to see if that checks out or anything”
Can we as millennials and gen-z’s collectively agree that NObody Cares about elbows on the table like Why was that Ever A Problem for Anyone?? We can chill right?
2 .but chewing with your mouth open is still gross and bad. keep that locked up
my friend angella was doing a comedy gig, and as soon as she came out a guy shouted ‘can i give you my number?’ and all the crowd groaned cause it was so inappropriate but angella was like ‘yeah sure’. the guy started shouting out his number and she started entering it into her phone. the whole crowd was like woaaah. she got the whole number and then dialled it and it rang. everyone lost their shit. finally the guy answered and angella just said “hello? shut the fuck up” and it was the most incredible thing i’ve ever seen
So some of these details are probably wrong, it happened a long time ago so I don’t remember the specifics leading up, but it was incredible.
A friend of mine who does stand up was doing his bit at open mic one night, and a guy was heckling him. Just being a total asshole, and then his phone rang and he started talking loudly on his phone about how he’s at open mic and this guy isn’t funny, etc. Now the weird thing about hecklers is that they just want to be a part of something most of the time, so my friend said, “hey man, what’s your name? Can I see your phone for a second?”
The guy actually handed over his phone, and my friend hung up, and scrolled through his contact list until he found the person he was looking for. He hit dial, and starts.
“Hello? Is this [Name’s] mom? Great! It’s very nice to talk to you. I’m a comedian in the middle of my standup routine, and your son is being very rude, [lists off some of the things her son said]…. hold on, can I get you to repeat that?”
He takes the phone away, puts it in speakerphone and holds it up to the mic.
“I said, I’m sorry my son is being such an asshole.”
Everyone lost it. Fuckin’ destroyed by his own mother. My friend said it was one of his proudest moments ever.
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